My Calling

Every week I get super excited about my Wednesday, because I get to go to Pulse Club.  I take 4 hours of my vacation time every week to go to mentor, minister, and befriend a group of kids that a lot of people have given up on.  Truthfully, a lot of society has given up on youth all together,  and the simple fact that my group are from the inner city, they have an automatic two strikes against them before people get to know them.  I do work in a magnet school and most of the kids truly do want to go to school, but drive through the south side of Oklahoma city and you will get a glimpse of the hardships that some of these kids are dealing with.  There are houses that are held together by cardboard boxes, you see crack heads and drunks walking down the same streets that kids walk to school.  These are the obvious examples of what is going on, can you just imagine the things that are going on in their homes and even worse their hearts. Just thinking of the rejection and abandonment that they must feel, breaks my heart.

I am constantly thinking why, and how did God think that he could entrust me with such an important task.  How did he think that he could use me to accomplish anything, doesn't he remember my past failures, and my doubting him.  Does he not remember all those nights of running in the opposite direction of him.  Seriously, sometimes I think God has lost his mind.  About that time I feel a calmness come over me, a calmness that stills my heart, a calmness that says God will use me regardless of my failures and short comings.  He has a plan and he has choose to use me in that plan.  


....."Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine."
Isaiah 43:1

Our School System Has Failed Us

My mother works at a high school and recently there was a fight from where a white kid allegedly said the word nigger, and a black kid beat him up pretty badly.  This is not a blog about black and white because I don't play that game.  This is a blog about equality for the student.  My mom told me that she was told by a teacher that this black kid has dealt with anger issues and has struggled in the past.  It made me think back to when I was in high school and my grades were very inconsistent  and actually down right terrible.  The reality is kids slip through the cracks especially in huge schools, there is programs for the kids who have a certified learning disabilities and kids in honor classes.  But as far as the every day normal student there isn't a lot available.  The school system has failed, because they are not taking care of the issues before they even start.  I know simply if I had one person that told me that they believed in me, I would have tried harder or pushed myself to the next level.  Instead I developed slacker tendencies that carried me through college.  Just imagine if this one teacher who noticed the is students anger issues, did something about it, maybe got him with the school counselor or spoke with his parents.  Or maybe even figured out the issues that are going on.  To many times, especially in high school, time is spent with the star athlete or star student instead of the kid in the corner who is just crying out for attention.  In conclusion, our school system has failed us by allowing student like this kid just slip through the crack.

SEX

May 2006, I made a personal commitment to no longer have sex or allow myself to get emotionally involved with someone until I say, I do.  April 2007 I made a personal commitment to no longer kiss until I say, I do.  Through a lot of questionable situations I have pulled through as keeping my promise. You may think I am weird, or crazy but "Its my prerogative, I can do what I want do."  Honestly this a desire that God place in my heart, and it's not for just any one but it is for me.   Just imagine the feeling of kissing your husband for the first time after you say I do.  Here is the thing in my short amount of time away from God I put so many things in His mercy seat in my life, and I know my weakness when it comes to sex.  I know my struggles with promiscuity, and I know the emotional journey that God brought me through to get me to the point.  I  have no problem with sharing my struggles it helps me to keep it real.  Keeping it real, is what keeps you from falling down a path that leads you back to your lowest points in life.  Those point that I wouldn't go back to for a million dollars.

No Texting and Driving

It's official I am signing the pledge and no longer texting and driving. Last night while texting and driving I blew out my lovely little tire, that I just got last week. I hit a curb and 5 miles down the road all the air was gone. Lucky for me this was just my tire, and not anything else. I never really emotionally got involved in the fact that people die or get seriously injured from texting and driving. I know that sounds horrible, but in my head I realistically thought those people were extra ridiculous because I could do it just fine. After last night my opinion has totally changed. Here is some pictures of me changing a tire for the first time, go me, go me.