A whole new level of intimacy

Okay so I know that I should be blogging on my names and titles but God showed me something really awesome. I blogged about it on myspace but here it is again.
Today I had the realization that the same God that created Adam from dirt created me. The same God that breathed life into Adam, and then intimately walked with him through the garden. I know that we all thing that life began when our parents were in love held hands, and then nine months later the storke dropped us off on their door step. Seldom do we think of God creating us and having his hand on the entire process, and breathing that first breathe of life into us. We don't think that we can even be as intimately involved as Adam. Granted we don't have a garden that we are able to walk around in naked, but God desires to have that closeness with you. As I reach new depths in my relationship with God I realize that he creates opportunities for me to expereince his presence. Sometimes its in a room or crazy teenagers, but other times its in a room of just me in him. No matter where I am he creates a way for me to be intimately involved with him.

Welcome Back

Sorry I took a little media break but I am back. So while I was taking this little break, I did a lot more reading then I usually get to do. I have an official move out date, and most importantly I have set up payment plans on every possible debt I have. I have asking God to ruin me, like Craig talks about in his book it, and he is doing big time. God's reminding me of the passions that he placed in my heart, and he has put them in my face so that I cannot ignore them anymore. The best way that I can explain it is that God has poured some more gasoline on the fire in my heart that was beginning to fade out, now it's a huge flame that I can't sit here anymore and watch people hurting. I can't sit here day after day watching students hurt themselves, or their families hurt them. I can't sit and watch nothing to be done, because they think that he forgot about them but I know that Jesus came for them. I can't sit still at all because there is too much to be done. Welcome Back Jo Jo.

Aunt Go Go

When I began to type this blog my niece came and sat on my lap and said that she wanted to help. So I asked her one simple question, "why she loved her Aunt Go Go?" Here are her answers:

• Because I play hide and go seek with her every friday night,
• I let her play with my phone,
• I watch Cailou with her,
• and the best one was that I give her kisses.

Last year I moved in with my brother, his wife, and two kids, and prior to this I had never lived with anyone younger then me. It was a total lifestyle change for me. My niece and nephew are 3 and 5, so it makes for an exciting house. You can't leave anything out at all, and always always lock the bathroom door behind you because somebody will be in their with you. They have taught me so many things about the heart of God, that I wouldn't have been able to understand any other way but to see it through them. My niece is going to change the world one day, I just see it in her heart. She has such a love for others, and she has to be friends with everyone. Now my nephew is mister logic, you have to explain it all out to him, and you can't leave any room for questions because most likely he wil ask them. And if what you are saying doesn't make sense then he will call you out on it. My neice first started calling me JoJo, and some how that developed into Go Go. Now they will both argue with me that my name is Go Go. Sometimes They even call me Goanna. I will be moving out in a couple of weeks and I am so sad that I am not going to have them sneaking into my bed in the middle of the night, or spending every friday night playing hide and go seek with them.

My insecurities

Insecurities consume me every now in then, and they make me to feel like I am trapped inside of myself and that I am never going to be able to go to the next level. They make me feel that I am not worthy to do the things that God has called me to do. They make me ashamed of everything that God has created in me. Insecurities make me jealous of other people in their ministry, and makes me compare my ministry to theirs. Because of my insecurity this weekend I had a big fit with God, like a full out laying on the floor kicking and screaming fit. Insecurity has a way to get into my mind like a sickness and flow through my blood streams. It's like cancer, that keeps coming back, and every time it comes back it makes you weaker. But most of all my insecurities are telling God that he is really not able to do everything, and that I can't trust that he can use me a broken person. Why do we have insecurities?

Coffee Anyone

This week I wanted to talk about the different names and titles that I have. So why not start at the place that pays me money. I am a barista at J.J. Mocha, and I absolutely love it. We have really yummy coffee, and it's a really fun place to work at most of the time. The best part is the majority of the people I work with are Christians, so when any of us have a problem we are able to pray together about it. We also have really amazing customers, who we are able to speak into their life on a daily basis. We have all kinds of cool features like free wifi, and computers for people to use. We recently started serving lunch and that is going amazing. My boss is pretty cool about letting me off for church stuff so I think I will be working here for at least the next year. So if you are ever in the Burleson area stop by for a cup of conversation, and a little conversation with our awesome baristas.

The 411

I am really bad about keeping my blog current so I am going to strive to start keeping it more up to date. So here are some good updates from my life:
*I am moving out the second weekend of november, yay!
*I got a new job!
*I am going to start taking online ministry training classes!
*I have a really awesome friend who has given me all these things to move out with!
*My friend Carrie is moving home to Burleson!
*I am possibly going to Cambodia for a month this summer!
*I have that constant Christmas Eve feeling!
* 7 Switch students were baptized today, and these were all kids whose parents don't go to the church!
some bad ones:
*I am working at walmart, in the live pets department!
*My fish tanks at work, were vandalized with KKK symbols and I'm the only black person in that department(man I love small town life)!
*Satan is really attacking a lot of people around me!
How's everyone else's life going?

NO B.... @..NESS

So I usually wouldn't use that kinda language but it is the only word to describe what's going on right now. I am just so tired of how everyone around me has been doing things half hearted. And I look at myself and I realize that I have been doing the same thing. It's almost like I have been in a season of half heartedness, and in order to allow God to continue to take me to the next level I have to do what my boy P.Diddy says on making the band "No B.... @..NESS. So what am I going to do to stop this, epidemic in my life. Hmmm.. I could make a tshirt to wear around so that everyone know my point of view, or maybe a tatoo on my arm that says the phrase. Or, maybe I could just live a in such a way that shows what I am truly passionate for, and I could change my actions to recognize that my choices reflect those of Christ. So I would need to consistently, run my decisions by Christ and make sure what I am doing is really truly aligned with his desires for my life, and not just something that I am saying yes to.

Inspired by a 5yr old!

Another inspiration from the princess of my house, my niece. This little girl has always been quick to learn things, and she never settles for second best at anything. One week when she was in gymnastics they had a backbend contest and it was up to her and another little girl. My niece was not budging, but she could see the other little girl struggling, so she raised up one hand, looked at the little girl, like do something. Well yesterday, my brother her dad, took her training wheels off and she learned how to ride her back in like an hour. Can you believe that! Okay so this had me thinking, how many times do we look at a challenge and think to ourselves "that is to big for me to do" so we don't even try. Or maybe we feel that God is calling to do something and we don't because of fear, failure. So I challenge to have no fear like a child, and not be afraid of doing things.

Happy Birthday

Today was my one year birthday for being a part of SWITCH in Ft. Worth. I remember my first week I walked in and there was like 15 students there, my first thought was this is going to be a real adventure. As time went on I thought that God had made a huge mistake sending me here, to Funky Town. It took so long to truly connect with the students, and if it wasn't for a few amazing people I would be back home in Oklahoma. So I want to dedicate this post to SWITCH, by saying my top reason for serving at the Fort Worth Campus. 5.Being able to act like a teenager(their energy totally rubs off on me). 4.Watching GOD change a community, and even more generation. 3. My friends list on myspace is huge. 2. Sharing GOD's grace. 1. Watching young people worshiping GOD, and that second when they "get it"! I know that some people hate working with teenagers, but hey I can't imagine my life any other way. When we went on the mission trip to New Orleans for Spring Break, and I remember telling God that I wanted to do this for the rest of my life.

Breaking Free

I know that not very many people read my blog consistently, and I am okay with that. So this probably makes what I am about to say a lot easier. I have been dealing with a lot this past year, and the stress of life has caused me to ignore my health. I have pushed caring for myself on the back burner and let caring for others consume my life. Almost every week this year I have started a diet, but by the end of the week I have failed. I am totally giving my body to GOD, in faith that he will set me free from this bondage. I find that this is one of the main things that is holding me back from falling deeper in love with my beloved Savior. This bondage has a grip on the way that I perceive myself, and it has me to doubt that GOD can really use me. It has started to change my attitude, and the way that I worship. And anything that causes you to alter the way that I praise GOD needs to cut out of my life I have heard so many times what you put in your body you get out of your body. I am making a stand to only put healthy things in my life, rather it is food, scripture, or positive thoughts about myself. Satan has no control of my life any more, I am breaking free.

Welcome to the Good Life!

Welcome to the Good Life! So I have got to spend the last week babysitting my niece and nephew. These guys are pretty much my world. I live with them and I have got to share so much with them this past year. My nephew stole my heart when he was born, and he knows it. He knows all he has to do is give me kisses and he can have whatever he wants. And my niece and I have a connection that no one will ever be able to break. Almost every night when everyone else is asleep I lay in her bed and I just let her talk about whatever she wants to talk about. It usually is about Hannah Montana or gymnastics, but occasionaly we have deep conversation(well deep for a 5 year old). I can't even explain how much I love are time together. This is what I call the Good Life!

My heart is so full

Oh my goodness, my heart is so full. Do you ever doubt that what you are doing is what God truly wants for you to be doing? Mainly because every time that you get two steps ahead you get knocked back like twenty. Words cannot explain how passionate I am about serving in the student ministry at church. There is something about what God can do in a room full of teenagers that makes the hair stand up on my arms. Tonight was such an amazing night. I got to give out 3 whats next kits, and I overheard a couple kids talk about how cool the book is that is in it(it is a Bible). I also so a kid who's first time was tonight give his life to Christ, then two little 6th graders who hated youth(I should say despised) tell me that they liked it and can't wait until next time, and the best part about the whole night was on the car ride home and I had a student spilling herself out to me. So when I say my heart is full I really feel that it is I am overflowing with the blessings of GOD.

My single mom

This morning I woke up, and God hit me with something very heavy. I am not a mother and I don't see myself being one anytime soon. But I was raised by an amazing single mom. I recently have found God showing me the struggles of single moms. There is something beautiful about the power that single mom's have. My mom raised two very successful men, and although it was hard she did it. It's like God made her with the ability to work all day, come home do homework and then cook dinner. She went to football games, basketball games, and was even school plays. She tried her best to make us not realize that we were poor. She put us first no matter what the situation. So here I stand at 23 years old, and I evaluate my life. I step back and look at my personality, and who I am when no one else is looking. I realize that I am exactly who my mom raised me to be, hardworking, independent, dedicated, and ready to go that extra mile. So I just want to give a quick, holla for all the single moms at their.

My 5 year plan!

May 2003, I graduated from high school, I was a girl with a plan. I was going to finish school in four years, get married by 25, and then we(that is referring to my future gorgeous paston husband and I) would start a family buy a house and live happily ever after. I told myself that I wasn't going to be like everyone else who says that they have a 5 year plan, and barely makes it through 2. I knew what I wanted to do, and how I wanted to do it. I swore that I would not be one of those families who drifted apart, I never wanted to go a day without speakin to my mom, dad, or brothers. I couldn't imagine not seeing my cousins every time I went home, or hugging the neck of the old people at church every Sunday. But the reality is that my plan didn't last more than about 4 months of college, and I if you looked at the plan, I failed! I am 23 not finished with school, no prospective husband, and buying a house is no where in the near future. Over the last few years I have experienced a lot, and been confused a lot. My pride has been hurt, my insecurities let free, my boundaries pushed, and most importantly my purpose found. I wouldn't trade God's plan for mine any day. What do you think?

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions!! #2

I have been in this attitude of prayer all day long and I still can not make my mind up. I really don't know which way that God is leading me and I am so torn. And it has made me really emotionally drained. I know everyone knows how much I hate to cry, and I feel like I am going to break down any second now. I have heard several times that the times that we loose it is when we are able to allow God to step in and take control of the situation. I know I just need to let go but I can't because I don't want to get hurt. Please pray for me today guys because I don't know how to make up my mind!

Significance

You want to be very significant in the eyes of other people. In the truest sense of the word you want to be recognized. You want to be heard. You want to stand out. You want to be known. In particular, you want to be known and appreciated for the unique strengths you bring. You feel a need to be admired as credible, professional, and successful. Likewise, you want to associate with others who are credible, professional, and successful. And if they aren’t, you will push them to achieve until they are. Or you will move on. An independent spirit, you want your work to be a way of life rather than a job, and in that work you want to be given free rein, the leeway to do things your way. Your yearnings feel intense to you, and you honor those yearnings. And so your life is filled with goals, achievements, or qualifications that you crave. Whatever your focus—and each person is distinct—your Significance theme will keep pulling you upward, away from the mediocre toward the exceptional. It is the theme that keeps you reaching.

Okay when I first took this test I didn't expect for it to get me right, but oh my gosh it has me down to a T. It is cool to step back and look at yourself, I am really trying to put myself in situations that I am able to develop this talent. I am really having trouble because I have notice that this specific talent has me coming off as a little bit cocky and rude. And that is not what I want at all. So what are some ways that you think that I can become successful role model?

He always takes care of me! Right?

So I was going to start writing a week works of blogs on how blessed that I am, but I am going to put that on hold. God stirred up some amazing things in me today. I went hiking from about 5am-2pm and took a couple of naps in nature along the way. I wanted to write all of this while it was fresh on my brain. As I sat in my car afraid to get out of my car because of the complete darkness. I don't mean kind of dark I mean really dark, no street lights no house lights, and all of the world sleeping. I get my flash light and my bag and I went. I set up my blanket to watch the sunrise, and I got to thinking why do I let fear paralyze me from doing the things that God calls me to do. Why do I not take the risk to jump to the next level, when I know that God is there to catch me if I trip. Do I not know that if God has given me a task to do he is going to take care of everything all I have to do is surrender to do it. I was reading back over my writings from almost a year ago, and all of my goals when I first moved here. I saw that I prayed that God would take me to the next level of intimacy, and he has. I prayed that he would help me to deal with the loneliness of being 220 miles from everything that is comfortable, and he did. So why do I still doubt that he will take care of me, when he calls me to do something. S0 I am proclaiming today that I am going to give extravagantly and live radically, and most important live a life worshiping undignified. I know longer care what people think I am living crazy for the Lord. So if you see me slacking in any way I want for you to call me out on my crap!

Family!!

I am so blessed with my family. I am one of those people who needs someone to call her on her mess quite frequently, because if someone doesn't do that I may get caught up in life. But my mother has no problem at all calling me out. Today I was talking to her about an issue I had with a certain person and she stopped me in mid sentence and it seemed as if it was God himself was calling me out. I recently have had my brother tell me something and it totally changed my attitude. I am so glad that God has given us family to make us remember who we are.

I have been reading this book that teaches you to memorize scripture by breaking it down for you and having you do research on certain scripture. I am really loving it. Today it had me read Romans chapter five, and there is a verse that I am sure that I have heard in the past, but it means more to me today. Here it is: "Therefore since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:1-5

Read just what os om bold, and think about it. Think about the qualities you possess, think about how you perfected those qualities, and realize that is hope. And ho[e does not but us to shame!!

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions!!

How you choose between two decisions when both will affect your life forever? I have been seeking God over the last couple of weeks about a certain life changing topic. It seems as soon as I get to where I am ready to make a decision, something happens and I change my mind. It is like I have that anxious moment all the time. I think that the problem is that I get way too emotionally involved with everything. It is part of my DNA I guess! It is so frustrating sometimes. Does any body have any suggestions, on how to decide between to really big decisions? Let me know!

New Orleans Darlin!

Have you ever had that warm fuzzy feeling. That feeling that you can't help but smile. I just went on a mission trip to New Orleans and it was absolutely amazing. I have never felt that feeling before, but I totally was moved and inspired so much. It has really made me put my life into perspective. I remember saying to myself that I want to do this for the rest of my life. I went on this trip to work, and build relationships with the students that were going. The crazy thing is that God used this week to work on my heart. He helped rebuild my realtionship with him!

A young girl

This Wed. I was truly blessed with God's choice to use me in a situation to show God's grace. I take a teenage girl home from church every Wed. and I am always excited to see where our conversation is going to lead. I value or time together every week but this week probably in the top three conversations that I have ever had with a youth. I got to explain to her how God wants us to remain pure until marriage and she knew that already. But the best part is that I got to explain to her about grace, and how God has grace on those who have not remained pure because they don't know. And then she was hinting around to the subject of people who know that they are to remain pure but they still don't choose to. I got to explain the story of my promiscuous past, and how I knew better and still choose to go down that path. And that the best part is that we serve an awesome God who believes, in grace and who showed grace for those who "know better" and still choose the wrong path. And I got to explain to her how God can still bless me, even though I didn't exactly choose the right path. I also was able to say how I wouldn't have been able to first hand explain that kind of grace to her if it wasn't for GOD being able to bless even though I had sinned in the past. Man God is so amazing, I still can't believe that he is able to use me!

The process

This whole week I am fasting! Mainly because I needed to get a bunch of junk out of my life and make a lot of huge life changing decisions. I am also going on a mission trip next week and I wanted to have my head clear for the trip. It is only my second day of fasting and God has already gave me clarity on a lot of things. One of the big things is being completely real with myself, and stop living behind this glass that I have put up. I found that I have been watching the world pass me by for far too long. I have been compairing my situations to that of others. I have really been living for myself and my own instant gratification in almost every area of my life. I have been serving for the gratification of the world, and not of God. I have spending money ridiculously, and not saving and investing like I need to be doing. I have pushed off school for too long. I have let my self become so consumed with the idea of working in the ministry instead of realizing that I am in ministry right now. I have been walking so far away from Christ, that my decisions haven't been reflecting those of a Christ follower. I keep trying to conquer things on my own, instead of with Christ and because of that I have dug myself further into the valley. I pray today that God would have mercy on me and help me to get out of this ditch.

Stereotypes

Lately, I have realized that I have a problem with judging other Christians, and pointing out their flaws. I've seen pastors that were over weight, driving nice cars, or even yelling at their kids in public. And I think to myself that I would hate to be in their congreation. Don't they know that pastors are suppose to be poor, and have well behaved kids always. They are suppose to have their shirts tucked in nicely, and be in shape. I have seen Christians gossiping about each other, drinking at bars, being down right ugly to other people. The crazy thing about it all I see most of these things in me. It is so easy to point the finger at other people and say how bad of a Christian that they are being, but it is not as easy to point the finger at myself. I fasted this past week from just about every desirable thing in my life, although I wasn't able to make it through the whole week, God revealed some incredible things to me. I am going to get radical in the way that I live my life. I mean he took me out of myself and gave me the opportunity to look inside of those deep dark places that I was afraid to go to, and man let me tell you that you are about to see a big change in who I am. I am going to have step up my game and get my act together. I am going back to school this summer, going on a hard core diet, getting myself out of debt, give irrationally, and most important quieting my mouth and opening my ears to receive what God has to tell me. Please pray for me as I learn to live radically.

A Legacy-Part 2

Today, my oldest uncle on my mom's side of the family died. He lived an amazing, adventurous life. He was the last one of that generation, and I feel like a chunk of my history just died. I feel like I didn't consume enough of his knowledge while he was here. I feel like he truly lived every moment to the fullest, this man traveled the world and seized every possible opportunity. I can remember sitting and listening to his stories, and being in awe of how cool his life had been. A man that set records, and challenged me to achieve greatness. (Sorry this blog may seem really jumbled, but I am still kinda in shock that he really died!) Am I taking life serious, and living every day as though it was my last? Am I? Am I seizing every single opportunity to speak God's love into everyone's life? Am I truly doing what God wants me to do in every single situation of my life?

A Legacy-Part 1

December 22, 2007 I went to a funeral for an amazing woman. Katie was her name. She blessed the life of many people, but I want to talk about how she especially blessed mine. She taught me what true unconditional love was. She love her kids so much and I can only hope to be a half the mom that she was. She helped put back the broken pieces of my life. I know people say that they stayed up praying for someone, or something, but she truly did. I remember being in youth and watching her and the other leaders, in the back of the room, pray over us at camp. I can also remember her truly crying with me, after I made a huge mistake and her then reminding me of God's grace. She also taught me not to be ashamed of my past because God still can use me. When I was a senior and didn't have a prom date she offered for her husband to take me to prom. At her funeral the song Legacy, by: Nicole Nordeman, was played. Since then the words to that song have stuck with me, " I want to live a legacy, how will they remember me..."! But the truth is, what will your legacy be? how will they remember you?

My results

Recently, I was given a book called: Strengths Quest. It gives you an online test to take and what it does is tells you what your natural talents are, and this is suppose to help you develop your talents to strengths become a better leader. The book says it as: "When you have refined a talent to the point at which you can provide consistence, near perfect performance in a given activity, you have strength." I have decided to work on developing and perfecting each one of my natural talents. My first step needed to be taking the test and seeing what the results were. The test revealed that my top five talents were: significance, belief, maximizer, relator, and adaptability. It was a real mind-opening, experience for me. So over the next couple of weeks I will be blogging over the development of these different talents.

Hostage-Addiction

Hostage! What can I say, man this series at church has definitely has hit me hard every single week. I think that this week has easily been the worst.(For those of you who don't got to Lifechurch.tv the series that we are currently doing is called Hostage and it is basically about things that we are held Hostage to. We are on week three, but if you want to check it out you can look on the Lifechurch.tv website and watch them.) Addiction, hit me so hard. I have a really hard time letting people see me as being weak, so writing this blog is really a humbling experience. I have become addicted to a very physical unhealthy lifestyle. I never thought of myself as the type of person to get sad so I eat a whole thing of oreos or a boy break up with me and I sit on the couch with a container of ice cream. But, I have been in that point in life that God is breaking me down to the real grimy bottom of the barrell type of stuff. He is opening my eyes to look inside myself and having me realize that I am not great at everything. So in doing that I have been able to see things that I haven't been able to see before. I am a huge emotional eater, and I have let myself some how believe that I am not able to come out of this addiction. I eat when I am bored, when I am happy, when I am stressed, when it's just there. I don't exactly know what I need to do to get out of this addicition but I need to do it quick! So please pray for me as I head down this road!

Have I become so "I" centered!

Lately I have came to realize that I have been so self-centered. Every decision that I have made has been a decisioned based on what my selfish desires are. I really can't think of a simple decision that I have made lately that has been centered on GOD! Why is it that WE as Christians do this, WE always want to know what God can do for US what he has planned for OUR life, when he is going to send ME a spouse, when I am going to be rich. Didn't he not send his only son to die for me, so that I could have eternal life forever in harmony. Man am I that narrow minded. Here I am, sitting back all self righteous, thinking that I got it all together and I am on the road to becoming exactly what God wants me to be and I realize that I am no where close. Have you ever had this realiztion, please tell me I am not crazy?

Tattoo

I am this totally huge tattoo freak, and every one of my tattoo's mean something personal to me. I feel that they all tell the spiritual journey of who I am! The first tattoo that I got was right before I graduated high school, and it was two little chinese charecters that says Jesus Christ, and it was suppose to symbolize that I was going to be walking with Christ through the next stage of my life. The next one was during my freshman year of college and I got a butterfly to represent the process of becoming free and flying on my own. If you know my story, you know how I was, I guess I kind of let myself become way too free. The next tattoo was at the end of that phase and it was my zodiac sign, and a little Jesus fish for the start of my new phase. For about a 6 month period I lived outrageously. I guarded my heart and had strict accountability. I didn't serve at church, and I allowed God to heal my wounds. It was a humbling period of my life. Last Easter I was baptized again, and I got a tattoo to remind that God was there in my beginning and he will be there with me to the end. The point of all of this is that I always have people ask me if I will regret my tattoo's when I am a mom or when I am in my career. To me regretting them is like regretting my story, and I live a life of no regrets. Because every good and bad decision has shaped me into the person God has created me to be in order for me to do the things that he has lead me to do.

Fringes

He stretches out the north over empty space
And hangs the earth on nothing
And how faint a word we even hear of Him
And yet – our eyes and ears and minds get all the candy
I sing for grace
For grace it lets me sing
And all I’ve ever seen or heard
Or haven’t seen or heard
It’s His
There is no other
All of this is but the fringes
And these are but the fringes
And all the world hinges
On His grace and on His word
It speaks things into being
And the spoken things revealing
The glory of our God and King
I’m stumbling upon things that aren’t mine
Things he spoke to life before time
Name one thing that’s not
One law or thought
He taught the clay
Molded it
Behold, He called the sheep
That’s why they came
Sheep! Who by grace get a peep
And make it cheap by calling it mine
By. Shane and Shane

"Behold, these are the fringes of His ways; And how faint a word we hear of Him! But His mighty thunder, who can understand?" (Job 26:14)
Man this song is powerful!! The boundaries of greatness!

Came to my Rescue

Falling on my knees in worship
Giving all I am to seek Your face
Lord all I am is Yours
My whole life
I place in Your hands
God of mercy
Humbled I bow down
In Your presence at Your throne
I called You answered
And You came to my rescue and I
I wanna be where You are
In my life
Be lifted high
In our world
Be lifted high
In our love
Be lifted high
Came to My Rescue
by: Hillsong United
This song is so dear to my heart. Falling on my knees in worship giving all I have! So there is something so powerfully humbling about falling on my face in front of God just soaking him all in. We are so blessed to be able to freely do this. I am so blessed to have a God that comes to my rescue and all I have to do is call.

Authenticity!

Doubt is defined as being uncertain about,consider questionable or unlikely, or hesitate to believe and distrust. Wow that's a lot to swallow. I think my one of my biggest struggles is self doubt. I am scared that I won't succeed at something so I don't even try. I pull the I can't speak well, and I don't know enough card way to often to keep from doing what I truly feel like God has called me to do. I was reading a book last night that was probably the most amazing book I have ever read. It was a book about speaking to youth, the author said something that stood out to me. "The most valuable paintings in the world our originals, not copies of originals." How awesome is that simple sentence. I am authentic, not a copy but an original. I am not to try to speak like other awesome preaches but I am suppose to be the real me that God has called me to be. The me who stutters sometimes and goes down so many rabit trails before I bring my point ful circle. I need to be confident enough to realize that it's okay to mess up from time to time, and that are mess ups are learning experiences. Look at people like Paul and Moses, God used them in tremendous ways. So how can I truly doubt myself when I am an authentic creation of Christ.